“I just need one thing!”

The trolley says otherwise

Close at 4 my ass.

As if it wasn’t bad enough that P.E teachers have to live with the stereotype that they are either shit teachers, or pedophiles. Tough choice, but if I had to choose, I’d rather have a weak professional resume’ than a criminal record. Especially one of a sexual nature; no matter what the crime was, those words in combination spell nothing but disaster. But now it seems that almost every teacher is being outed as some sort of sexual criminal, not just the ones who like watching kids get sweaty. Apologies, so hard to shake these prejudices.

I first noticed this becoming a trend some time ago, when some teacher from the south of Wales was found to be having a sexual affair of sorts with one of her pupils. Stories like this seem to pop up all the time, so I thought nothing of it. And then the same thing happened as when any other story hits the tabloids; the media look for any story even vaguely similar, just to keep peoples interests high. It’s easy reporting really. Take the example of whenever there is some sort of dog attack, or even the false widow craze from the summer just been. One serious story gets brought to the attention of the public and then what follows is anything close resembling, but bearing none of the relevance, of the original story. It’s like if you had a string of sausages, and the ones at the bottom were half chewed, smeared in excrement, and had hordes worms occupying their crevices. 

So, long story short, it turns out that a lot of teachers have engaged in sexual activities with their pupils. Well more than we thought anyway. It still amazes me that these things can go unnoticed until there is a media witch hunt for anyone who may or may not be engaging in inappropriate acts with underage children. Surely the desire to catch sexual predators should stem from a need to protect the innocence of children, not from wanting to bring the story to the tabloids. However, in all fairness, motives aside, I suppose if it is a necessary evil that tabloids be filled with fear mongering, sensationalist right wing bullshit to keep sexual predators at bay, it is worth it.

I don’t know how to feel about discovering one of the teachers who taught me when I was younger has turned out to be a voyeuristic opportunist. The full story can be found on most Welsh news websites, just type in Glantaf Teacher voyeur or whatever. As much as I find what he did to be disgusting, I don’t see the point in name and shaming when you can just see it on news websites. But however disgusting I find what he did to be, some people will no doubt overreact. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not assuming that the parents etc will overreact, they have every right to be furious given what has happened to their children. But to those whose children were not directly involved, and are quick to put their finger to the trigger, do bare in mind that no-one in the school knew what was going on. If you assume that they did, then there is more than just the vilification of a teacher at hand, you are claiming that an entire educational organization condones, or at least attempts to cover up pedophilia, which is just wrong. The teachers must be going through hard times too. Not only have they just found out that one of their colleagues is a voyeur, but they are no doubt worried that people may irrationally assume that they were either involved or that they are that way inclined too. It’s like when the whole Ian Watkins fiasco happened, no-one stopped to think how his wrongdoings had effectively destroyed the careers of 3 or 4 other people. They will forever be held in the same bad name as Ian Watkins, simply because they were in the same band, and people are too narrow minded to think beyond what they see directly in front of them. 

I suppose all I am hoping for, is that while people will (quite rightly) feel inclined to vent their anger at the teacher in question, they will not let their angry minds get the better of them to the point at which fear mongering and accusations stemming from insecurities dominate their thoughts. Papers like the Daily Mail far too often leap at stories like this, hoping that their hateful messages can find new followers during these hard times, because people are inclined to believe insanity, when the truth is not what they want to hear. Hopefully there will be no such opportunity to be leaped at here. 

With teeth of tar, the gambler strides in

Atop a chariot of pungent dust

“£100 down today!” She exclaims, 

Though she is deaf to her own words. 

“No” says her dwindling conscious,

Devoid of sweet memories or wise advice,

“Why not?” says the devil on her shoulder.

The devil wins again, and waves farewell to good sense. 

Scarce notes are exchanged, 

In favor of myriad scratchcards.

Speckles of silver foil cascade from the cards, 

Like ash from a burning cigarette. 

The sound of coin hitting silver,

Fills the quiet aisles of the shop. 

“Nothing again,” She smiles, 

Letting out a barely audible chuckle. 

Her eyes, however, cannot tell the same lies. 

Perhaps one day, she will fool us all

When her face is synonymous with lucky wealth.

But at what true cost?

Oh Morrissey, as if the percentage of the world that remains sane and not sycophantic to your whiny bullshit didn’t have reason enough to dislike you. Forever an advocate for Animal Rights, Racism (apparently) and completely unappealing music, Morrissey has once again solidified himself as one of Music’s most annoying ego’s (alongside the likes of John Lennon and Kanye West.) Whereas Kanye West has disappeared so far up his own ass his head is legally “missing, presumed dead,” and John Lennon was just a massive hypocrite (and, far more seriously, a wife beater) Morrissey is just so, so tedious. 

For the record, I would just like to state that I have no problem with people who choose to be vegetarians on moral grounds; believe whatever you want to believe. It is however, the unbearably sanctimonious vegetarians that are just socially corrosive. There are many things to have a self righteous ego about, and however annoying that can be, if it is at least grounded in something close approaching impressive, then it can at least be understood, even if it cannot be tolerated. But not eating meat? Where is the cause for arrogance in abstaining from eating meat?

Everyone has met at least one of these people. You might be at a party, having a good time, working the room, enjoying a drink or two. And then out of the corner of your eye, you see them. Clothes like they’d raided the wardrobe of a 90’s sitcom, a cigarette rolled with licorice papers and a sense of self importance so massive it’s a surprise anyone in the room can breathe. You wonder to yourself what gem of non-ironic, moronic conversation is going to dribble out of their hipster lips. Could it be talk some classic hits of an 80’s new wave band that you “might not have heard of,” even though they were huge in their time? Could it be that they only buy games consoles that at least 10 years old because “retro is so in right now.” No, we’re going dietary tonight folks.

“No, like, yah, I definitely see what you’re saying man like, be you, but, like, when you ate that piece of chicken when I was in the same room, I was just like, so offended, because like, you know I’m a vegetarian, so, like, you know stuff like that upsets me. I just thought we were, you know, friends and everything, and it’s just, well, I guess it really offended me, because, you know how I feel about the murder of animals for food and stuff, you know.”

It was as if the manholes outside had been blasted into space due to the pressure of shit rising from the depths of hell, causing a wave of rancid feces to flood the party atmosphere. What the hell had I just heard? Even Satan was forcing back tears, retching at the depravity humanity had reached. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that bad. But still, how is it people like this can say things like that and not just think “Wow, even I think that’s annoying.”

So, what I had gathered is his friend, a perfectly normal looking guy who apparently likes to engage in the abomination that is eating meat. Him being a meat eater he, as he is quite entitled to do so, ate some chicken in the same room as his friend. The veggie hipster, as expected, did not ask him at the time if he could possibly not do that (even though that itself is a little audacious,) or just say to him he couldn’t be in the same room as he did it. The latter would have been the best course of action, but no. That wouldn’t have stimulated his ego enough. He needed people to know how outraged he was. He needed people to know that “actually, you can still get the same level of protein in a vegetarian diet. Have you ever tried Soya Milk? It’s delicious and only three times as expensive than regular milk. What a bargain right?!”

Alas, this is a personal experience, one which I hope not to repeat in a hurry. Luckily I decided it was best just to stay as far away as possible from the veggie hipster, lest he berate me about how animals are being mistreated and that meat-eating is murder. I just don’t see how people can get their priorities so twisted. This seems to stem from humanity’s self realization that they belong to  a higher state of consciousness than other animals. Which, in some regards is great; it has led to philosophy, discoveries in science etc. But, it seems to have also convinced some people that somehow humans are above eating animals, that they are somehow better than that. Realistically speaking humanity has not evolved to such a point at where we have abandoned our roots as animals. As such the fact that we are STILL animals, and therefore are naturally expected to act in animal like ways, means, to me anyway, there is no convincing argument to not eat meat?

I would like to point out that personally, I do agree that there are examples of animal slaughter and needless violence to animals that is abhorrent and should be vanquished, for the benefit of both humanity and life in general. But, to completely abandon eating animals is just ridiculous, at least in my eyes. As previously mentioned, however ridiculous I find the argument for not eating meat, I can at least respect it as long as it isn’t done in such a whingy, illogical manner. Lastly, the problems I have with such a heavily over exaggerated emphasis on animal rights is this; it sometimes seems to abandon problems that affect humanity, such as dictatorships or military crises or even issues with nuclear arms/waste. Also, though it is admittedly a far fetched argument, to be convinced that animals share the same compassion with us as we them is moronic. If i stood in a cage with a grizzly bear, I don’t think reason and understanding would overpower the immense force of the bears jaw as it made a bloody mosaic of my tattered skin. 

But, I digress, the original problem I had was with Morrissey (though in my defense it was to do with Vegetarianism.) The problem I have is with a statement that Morrissey made recently, which was something along the lines of “There is no difference between eating meat and pedophilia.” I beg to differ Morrissey, this is one of those ridiculous statements that people of your kind expect to be able to make in public and not suffer any criticism or disapproval because you are so “influential,” or because for some reason you have convinced yourselves that you are some shining beacon of humanity. If the latter statement is true, I’m going to throw myself out of the window now. It reminded me of when Kanye West compared himself to a solider or policeman. How does someone get it into their head that what they have just said is both completely distasteful and downright idiotic. How stupid do you have to be to say something like that? Well, judging by interviews with West, as stupid as he is. He honestly sounds like a 3 year old beauty pageant contestant with a speech impediment. 

“There is no difference between eating meat and pedophilia.”

So, the dictionary defines pedophilia, quite rightly, as sexual feelings directed towards children. 

Eating meat is the act of eating … meat, which itself is defined as “the edible flesh of animals, especially that of fish or poultry.”

How then, did Morrissey, the broken record stuck on a song called “Why can’t we all love the animals,” make the connection between the two. He is actually comparing the act of eating meat and having sex with children. It instantly reminded me of the kind of ludicrous connections you get made to video games whenever something controversial happens with firearms in America. You’ll read an article with a headline similar to “Video Games responsible for mass shooting.” And then it’ll go on to say how, alongside immigrants and liberals, video games are the biggest cause of death in America, all because some disenfranchised kid with access to heavy duty weapons liked playing virtua tennis or Tetris in his spare time. It’s like if someone threw a rock at your face and you tried to sue gravity or ban rocks, it’s completely ridiculous. 

Even though what Morrissey said is beyond stupid, and is evidence to the man being a complete moron, I just hope the one positive effect of this virulent spray of idiocy is people finally start to see beyond so called “good lyrics” and music they like, and can see people for who they really are – morons with a platform. I have a horrible vision in my head of, for some reason, going to some sort of pedophile conference in which they all explain that for them, eating meat was some kind of gateway into them finding sexually attractive.

“Hello my name is Michael and I am a meat eating pedophile”

“Hello Michael.”

“It all started one morning when I was having a bacon sandwich with my son and I suddenly started thinking about what he would look like naked. It all went downhill from there really. To this day I can’t go to a carvery without rubbing my semi and looking over at the attached play area for children. That’s why I am now a vegetarian.”

The crowd applauds, whoops, cheers. And then Morrissey comes to the stage, absorbing the worship like it was social osmosis, brandishing the most smug I told you so face ever seen by the human eye. Even Ricky Gervais would wince. 

In this instance, I would go and apologize to Morrissey myself. But seeing as the chances of that happening are slimmer than Kate Moss in rehab (libel? probably) I fancy my chances. 

tl;dr Morrissey IS a whinging cunt. May he rest in hell with John Lennon. 

So, we are 3 days into 2014 and already so much has changed. 

I mean, there’s still mass unemployment and poverty, political corruption, destructive weather and civil war all around the world BUT somewhere, in the western world, someone has (undoubtedly) achieved the unthinkable. They’ve woken up hungover on the 1st January, stale smoke teasing their nostrils and the taste of last nights antics clinging to the roof of their dried out mouth, and they’ve thought to themselves “No, this year is going to be different. I’m gonna make a change.” Their clouded eyes can just about pick out the Facebook icon on their (probably new) phone, and a wave of smug washes over them like poison hinted clouds rolling over the skyscrapers of Beijing. 

As they sit there, their dear old friend Facebook acknowledges the Elephant in the room, and so asks them a question. “What’s on your mind?”

“Oh I thought you’d never ask Facebook! Here are my New Years Resolutions …”

Now, just for the sake of clarity, I realize given my previous post that this dig at NY Resolutions can be seen as hypocritical. And maybe it is, but the point I was trying to make, however brief, was that Resolutions in themselves are not a bad thing. I had realized that it had been quite some time since I had regularly uploaded new content to this page, and as such felt that, if I want to further the quality of my writing, I could do worse than to write more consistently for this blog. I think the problem I have, with this tying in so conveniently with NY resolutions, is a matter of timing as opposed to labeling. 

That said, the problem I have with (most) NY Resolutions is exactly that; the label. 

It’s comparable to, for example, if someone has been in a one sided relationship for a long time, or desperately going out of their way to assure other peoples happiness, and then they decide that it’s time to spend some time on themselves for a change. That’s great, I don’t think anyone could argue with that. However, if people start uploading statuses with added extras like “#luvinsinglelyf” or “I’m just doing me,” this is when the problems start. Whenever statuses like this pop up, it’s almost as if whoever is writing it is seeking some sort of approval or gratification, for something that doesn’t need either of those things. It almost feels as if either they need someone to know they are doing it or that they feel as if they have to for some reason. 

My point is, if you want to make a change in your life, that’s great. If you don’t that’s great too. But attaching labels onto things that ultimately should just be personal or a “between friends” sort of deal, just creates an air of desperation. It just seems to me when you read posts like “2014 gonna be the best one yet, need to stop smoking though #NYResolutions#amiright?” it’s almost as if people are asking for approval as opposed to trying to make genuine change in their life. 

Irregardless of the fact that NY Resolutions are synonymous with bullshit, I do find myself drifting too thoughtlessly between the plains of idleness and creativity. While I may have ideas in my head that I wish to share, I rarely find the effort to put them to paper (or to WordPress as it were.) This is detrimental to my wanting to be a writer, and given that it is just over a month since I last added any content to this page, I feel as if something has to be done. Ergo; New Years Resolution is to add 4 pieces of new content a week. More than this amount will be tolerated, less will not. 

P.S I am also going to write about how stupid NY resolutions are. I can sense how excited you all are. God I’m such a tease. 

I recently started writing for another website and this is the first review I had to do so thought I’d share with you guys. Let me know what you think. 

In an age where epidemics come and go like fashion trends, it’s hardly a surprise that the worlds film industries have turned their attention to virus/disease epidemics as a basis for modern disaster movies. Akin to the zombie films that have been present on the silver screen for almost 50 years, they concern themselves not only with the outbreak itself, but on how society, and those who govern society, deals with the situation. The Flu (2013,) a South Korean disaster movie, is no exception to this rule, and while it may be ridden with clichés and stereotypes, it does present us enough nail biting action and high tension drama to (sort of) compensate.

The film centres around a South Korean city called Bundang, whose streets soon become filled with violently ill citizens, as a result of a shipping container housing illegal immigrants infected with the H5N1 strain of Avian Flu. When one of the immigrants (presumably Thai/Indonesian, the film doesn’t specify) escapes, the Flu begins to spread like wildfire, eventually leading to the lockdown of Bundang. Meanwhile Jigu, who earlier on in the film had rescued In-Hae (a doctor involved with the treatment of H5N1 patients,) is attempting to reunite In-Hae with her daughter, Miree. However, In-Hae is unaware that Miree has become infected because of her contact with the aforementioned escapee. As tensions heighten both in the newly erected Flu camp and also behind the scenes in the Government section, the prime interest for both parties is a development of an anti-body, as a task made ever difficult by virulent bodies, hostile protestors and supposedly heartless politicians.

The initial impression that I felt upon viewing the closing credits to this film, was just how much like a B-Movie it felt. That is not to say the film was bad, to say such a thing would do the film massive injustice. It just felt very much like a B-Movie. The characters seemed to be absolute stereotypes, offering no sense of ambiguity or change, save for the last scene when In-Hae finally stops giving Jigu a hard time and actually says thank you (too little, too late if you ask me.) Jigu is your archetypal good guy; he can’t do any wrong and goes out of his way to ensure the safety of others. Miree is your typical cute but annoying child character; constantly getting lost and getting herself into life-threatening predicaments. I could carry on, but I won’t in fear of writing until the cows come home. Rest assured however, that while perfectly entertaining to watch, the characters offer very little to the audience other than seemingly one dimensional personality’s

Given that this is a South Korean film with an apparently reasonable budget, the production is very good as is the sound editing. What the film might lack in believable characters, it certainly makes up for in believable set pieces. Whether it’s the dark corridors of the Flu camp, or the expansive scenes of panic on the streets of Bundang, the film never seems to lose authenticity, which is a redeeming feature that many films in the same genre cannot claim themselves. Where the film does lose authenticity, I will argue, is in its juxtaposition between scenes of mass panic and tension and its scenes of overindulgent sentimentality. I am not heartless, and as such enjoy a few scenes of moderated sentimentality, particularly when it is done well and tastefully. However some of the scenes in this film felt too contrast to others, appearing to have more in common with dreary soap operas rather than disaster movies. The one exception to this that is worth noting is the last scene where In-Hae, Jigu and Miree are together again, which provides not only a few tear jerking moments, but also a laugh or two as well.

All in all then, The Flu is a film which essentially does everything it claims to offer. It delivers a poignant and thought provoking image of a city decimated by a deadly epidemic, a Government at odds with how to deal with the situation and a group of people desperate to ensure each other’s safety. To be honest, the criticisms I have listed are ones that are usual suspects in this particular area of film, and as such should be taken with a pinch of salt. If what you are looking for is an entertaining and occasionally emotional film, with plenty of drama and action to keep your attention, then The Flu is definitely worth a watch. Its downfalls are only truly noticed if you are expecting rather more memorable performances/characters or a slightly more explorative engagement with the topic of the film itself.